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Write on Wednesday – I remember…

Inspired by the beautiful words I have been reading as part of this challenge, I have decided to make the leap myself. Check out Write on Wednesday’s other bloggers here at inkpaperpen.

Write On Wednesdays

 

I remember her smile. Lipstick red when she was going out – shopping or to the club to play cards with her ladies. She was a good card player. The Major from Fawlty Towers was right. I remember sitting opposite her at the dining table, each of us playing patience. She stuck her tongue out a little bit when she concentrated. We all do that. Dad, then me and now the boy. Funny how it goes.

I remember her fingernails. Long. Manicured. Red or pink polish. She taught me to do them for her when the Parkinson’s became too much. One stripe of colour to the middle then one to each side. “Just three times, like so.”

I remember her voice – her almost perfect English. Not Strine. She was a Dame. Dahm-eh. The German kind. A lady. But I reckon she was a dame too. A classy dame. Well mannered. Brought up right, but with a sense of fun that suited this country that she called home. More Aussie than German in the long run.

I remember how her eyes danced when ever we walked into her house. How she clung to us on arrival, with calls of “Bussi’ge’m! Bussi’ge’m!Give me a kiss. Even if we’d seen her last week or on the weekend or just yesterday. She smothered us in love. We’d push her away laughing. Enough! Enough! Secure that we were her favourites. Her everything. She spoiled us with food, with gifts and always always with love.

I remember my Oma.

Sources of Comfort – Old and New

My son is away at camp at the moment. I am missing him a lot but I’m sure he’s having a great time. He’s a big kid, happy in his own skin, and surrounded by some great mates. Still big as he is, I did wonder when he didn’t pack his favourite teddy, Godfrey Bear. Perhaps, I thought, ten is too old for teddies. Not quite. When asked, he replied that Godfrey (a gift from my late grandfather about eight years ago) was far too special to take in case he got lost. Instead he took TB – yep – a lime green tuberculosis molecule, who was a big hit with the boys in his cabin last year.

Photobomb!

I guess you’re never too old for a special friend. My daughter is almost 13, but still has a pile of soft toys on her bed, and none is more special than her first teddy bear.  Like millions of others around the world he is just known as Teddy.

Older still is Sergeant Major Edward Bear, who belongs to my husband. Sergeant Major Edward Bear was his first teddy bear as well, a gift from his dad who was in the army at the time. Which means, like my husband, he will be 40 years old next week! Sergeant Major Edward Bear has many stitched up joints, from years of being carted about by a small boy. He’s scratchy and hard, but always the dapper gentleman. Our kids sort of share him – he moves between their rooms with ease, occasionally placed back on my husband’s pillow when they think of it.

As for me – well, my earliest and most treasured love is my well-worn copy of The Cat in the Hat. Coverless and well-thumbed, it might not be as cuddly as the bears of my childhood, but since I am still never more content than when I am curled up with a good book, I think it has earned its place beside other special childhood friends.

Do you still have a treasured toy or teddy bear from your childhood?

Had Enough of Homework?

Over at Sunny Days last week, editor Jayne Kearney pondered the relevance of homework. I did leave a brief comment, but since I wrote it in Russian and kept mentioning viagra, it seems to have disappeared into the ether of the Wonderful World of Web. I have however been ruminating over the whole homework topic this week, so now a mere comment wont suffice – you get a blog. Aren’t you lucky?

I reckon teachers are kind of stuck when it comes to homework. It seems that half the parents want it, and half despise it. The half that want it, perhaps feel that the world these days is moving pretty quickly and kids are thrust into success or failure a lot earlier than previous generations. Nobody wants to feel that their child is being left behind because of a lack of effort on their part. I have noticed that as children come closer to high school, there are more parents worrying that their children wont be prepared, and that perhaps getting into a good study routine beforehand will help.

The argument against homework is possibly promoted by the battles that parents have to wage on several fronts in order to get it done – battles against time, resources and, of course, unwilling participants.  Even if a worksheet should only take five minutes to complete, there is the half-hour of arguing beforehand that needs to be factored in! Many people also believe that six hours of sitting still and learning is plenty for kids in early primary school, when play is still so incredibly important to their overall development.

Personally I feel that as with most parenting and educational practises, there is no one-size-fits-all model for homework. Some kids crave learning and/or routine, and will approach a homework task with zeal. Other kids just occasionally need a little bit of extra practise to get those dratted times tables or spelling words to stick. Some kids of course need a lot of extra help to get them up to a functional level of literacy and numeracy. Homework is not the only solution in this case, but it can be one more opportunity for parents to work with their kids.

So what can schools do to cater to all kids? My kids’ primary school has a “home learning  (note the name change) is optional” policy. Home learning is sent home in the form of a home reading in the early years, then works its way up to a weekly times tables sheet and perhaps some spelling list practise. In the later years there is also a small activity – which could range from doing a “random act of kindness” to finding five facts about a  topic they are studying at school. There is no punishment for not doing it. No reward for excellent work. Not by the school at least, because it is home learning. Of course parents can reward (or punish) at home if that is their thing.

So how has this worked for us? My daughter was never keen on homework. She was the kid who was always straight back outside the minute she got home. I was thrilled not to have to fight the homework battle.  I left it entirely up to her. If she got bored, I would suggest she look at her home learning. She would occasionally play Mathletics or Spelling City online (through her school). When she struggled with remembering her times tables, we’d get out the practise sheets.  Sometimes a topic would grab her interest – she made an awesome powerpoint presentation about penguins, made several posters and wrote a hilarious speech for public speaking. She played netball and had flute and piano lessons as she was in the school band. But most afternoons she did nothing but ride her skateboard, annoy the cats or play with the kids across the road.

What about high school? It can seem a big leap from ‘all play’ to the more rigorous demands of  secondary education. Personally I think assessments and assignments are fantastic things. Much better than a single test at the end of each semester to give a final mark in a subject. I’m pleased to say that so far, despite the distinct lack of formal homework in late primary school, my daughter seems to be handling the juggle of assignments quite well. She can budget her time and activities with only a few “gentle reminders” from mum. Also she wants to do well for herself.  She has already, just three months in, learned that it is satisfying to get a decent result on an essay for one subject, to put together a good brochure for another. And best of all, she still fits in the skateboard and plays with other kids, and the cats are still well and truly annoyed.

How do you feel about homework? Would you like to see a “home learning is optional” policy at your kids’ school?

Today is Wendadsday!

Every Wednesday my dad comes to visit. I used to think I was doing him a favour. Getting him out of the house, taking him to the shops, taking him out for a “proper” meal. (He pays of course.) Poor sod. He doesn’t get out much you see. Oh, except for the lawn bowls four times a week at two different clubs. And his regular fancy lunches with a friend in catering. And his weekly jaunts up to “The Bay” to stroll around the marina. And his monthly excursions by train to Sydney to bum around Circular Quay (and take the same blooming photo of the Harbour Bridge every time on his iPhone).

Crap. Have just realised that I have been kidding myself. Dad is actually doing me the favour! Since I don’t drive I often schedule any errands etc on a Wednesday, so he can take me.

He even brings treats for the kids. Oh wait. Not the kids. They are at school. The pets. Yes. The pets.  He brings fresh pet mince for the cats. We only give them canned food. And the dog gets dog chews. The cats usually scatter when visitors arrive, but Wendadsday finds them pacing about the hallway until his car pulls into the drive, then they start meowing furiously.

I’m also starting to suspect that they like him better than they like me:

I suppose I can handle that. He is pretty awesome.

Parenting Milestones

shoes‘Tis the beginning of the new school year in Australia, and many parents are watching their little ones head off to the wonder that is formal education for the first time. Watching our children take this big step into the world can be bittersweet. It is normal to feel excited for them and yet still mourn the loss of their baby and toddler years. My own Little Miss Wasn’tSheJustBornYesterday starts high school on Monday, so I do understand the emotions.

But our kids growing up doesn’t have to be all sadness and nostalgia. Buck up, little campers! Here is a list of milestones that parents can look forward to over the years:

Getting Up in the Morning Without Waking Their Parents – Picture this – you wake up, fresh from a full night’s sleep. The birds are singing, the sun is shining and the day seems full of endless possibilities because nobody has prised your eyelids open at 6 am to bellow “You awake Mummy?” or climbed into bed beside you to perform a tapdance on your full bladder. Your loungeroom will of course look like a thrash metal band has been partying there over night, but this is a small price to pay for that extra hour’s sleep.

Doing Up Their Own Seatbelt – I swear doing up child restraints requires some sort of formal qualifications in engineering science, and we are expected to do it while balancing on one leg, lying across a backseat full of Miscellaneous Crap. One day, your child will be able to “click-clack front and back” themselves. Of course lack of designated car seating means beside the car becomes a battlefield as they all attempt to enter by the same door, but at least your back wont be aching so much.

Turning the Shower On and Off – No more “Soggy Sleeve”! I know! Sounds almost too good to be true, doesn’t it? Many kids are taught this just before they head off to school camp for the first time. I wouldn’t bother if you have boys, because they wont shower anyway. You’ll be lucky if they change their clothes.

Make a Sandwich – Bugger filling the pantry with healthy and tasty snacks over the school holidays. All moans of “I’m huuuuuungryyyyyy” get met with “Make a sandwich”. No need to cook a separate meal for fussy eaters, as if they don’t want dinner – “make a sandwich”. Be prepared though – the loaf of bread will be squooshed from reaching for the freshest slices in the middle, there will be goobies in the butter and the nutella jar will empty daily.

Leaving Them at Home – There was a bit of a kerfuffle about this in the paper recently. I have to say I was surprised to read a lot of people saying 14 was the youngest a child could be left unattended at home. I was working a McJob at 14. It depends on the kid. The first time you duck down to the shops for groceries without the row of ducklings dragging their feet behind you is absolute bliss.

Riding or Walking to Friends’ Houses and School – I hate organising playdates. Hell, I hate the word playdates. I am so glad that my kids are old enough now to 1. organise themselves and 2. call it “hanging at so-and-so’s house”. As for walking to school (if you live close enough) – well any parent who has battled the school drop-off and pick-up will understand completely. Added bonus for those of us who work from home – PJs all day. ‘nuff said.

What parenting milestones have you most rejoiced in?

Neither Rhyme nor Reason

American_GothicOn the weekend I went shopping with my daughter for some clothes. At almost 12, she has definite tastes. It has been a long time since I dressed for fashion rather than comfort, but I thought I was doing pretty well at pointing out colours and styles that are “in” this season. But then I found myself furiously shaking my head “No” at a cropped denim jacket that would have barely skimmed a bikini top. “Jackets are for warmth and I’m not paying for half of one!” I said, and then quickly looked around for my father. Surely those were his words, not mine!

You see, as much as I like to think I’m pretty cool (Are kids still using that word? “Cool”?) I do tend towards the fuddy-duddy at times.  Trouble is I can be a bit unpredictable with my preferences. For example I hate flat-brimmed caps, low hanging pants and “bling” on boys. But my son is one of only a few lads with long scruffy hair in a class of “short backs and sides”.  I turn up my nose at designer wear and brand names but gladly fork out for Globe skate shoes if it means my kids will wear black leather shoes to school without a fight.

We eat dinner as a family almost every night, with the table set and the television off. At the end of the meal, if we are still sitting and chatting, the kids need to ask “May I be excused” before they leave. Terribly old-fashioned, and yet I don’t care if they eat breakfast while hanging upside down on the lounge watching cartoons. On school mornings. While still in their pyjamas.

We have a mobile phone ban in place until Year 7, but umpty-two computers, a PS3, multiple iPods and Nintendo DSs. I refuse to get pay TV but with the endless hours of television series and movies we have on DVD, I can’t see how it would possibly change our viewing habits. Yes to The Simpsons, no to Home and Away. Neighbours at a pinch, but only if I can watch too and laugh at it – and none of them during dinner of course! No chewing gum! No bubble gum! No stupid sour liquid confectionery in a squirty bottle. Coke? Occasionally as a treat.  Chocolate? Hell yes! You can’t colour your hair until you are fifteen, but then you are allowed to dye it blue if you so desire. Lip gloss, sometimes. Lipstick NEVER!

So what do you think? Am I normal? What rules do you insist upon in your home? And which ones do you let slide?