Oh the Thinks you can Think

With the new Sex and the City movie coming out about now, lots of women my age are looking forward to catching up with their old friends Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda. And I am starting to feel a little lost again.

Despite having watched a handful of episodes over the years, I have never caught the SATC bug. Although I enjoyed it when I did watch it, the show just didn’t resonate with me as it did with so many women, and it never became appointment TV.

It’s not because I can’t relate to the premise of the show. Yes, I’m a largely fashionless, married mother on a budget in suburbia, but so are many SATC fans. I think my point of disconnection is the four main characters. Not as individuals, but rather as a collective. You see, I don’t often spend time with women in the plural. I don’t have a group of like-minded gal pals that I organise morning teas, play dates, girls’ nights out or in with.

That’s not to say that I don’t have wonderful friendships with other women. I have several beautiful close friends that I love to catch up with on an individual basis, with and without our families. I’m just not part of a particular group of women friends, who all know each other and socialise together. I do have acquaintances that revel in regular get-togethers “with the girls” . When I am invited along to such occasions, I often feel out of place. I’m not sure why. I have never been made to feel unwelcome. The topics of conversation are not that dissimilar to what I would cover with my closer friends. But it feels so very different to one-on-one.

Maybe it is because the chat moves faster. More people equals more ideas and opinions. Perhaps I am not as assertive in expressing myself in front of  a crowd, although when the company is mixed I don’t seem to have a problem. Maybe, just maybe, it’s because somehow when women are presented as a group, I feel like I don’t measure up. I’ve always been a little less fashionable, more geek less chic, less feminine.  When women are together in a large group, I feel like my unwomanliness becomes more apparent and  I am on the outside of my gender looking in. Which is ridiculous when I think about it, because women aren’t some kind of hive mind, and to pass us all off as the same goes against my every belief. Maybe I feel more comfortable being myself in a group of two, because there is better chance for the other person to discover who I really am, and I in turn can better see who they really are.

So my female readers, what about you? Do you have a group of women friends that you love spending time with? How do you all know eachother? Or are you more comfortable with your friends one-on-one?

There has been a lot of talk about Jessica Watson around the traps (a phrase which here means that I am too lazy to direct you to all the articles discussing her, but I’m sure you’ve seen some.). She has been described as an attention-seeker, as a risk-taker, as too young, as a record-breaker, as a hero. It is this last word – hero – that seems to stir people up the most.

T he dictionary.com definition of hero: a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities.

OK – so apart from the “man” part that applies, I guess.

We live in a country that encourages “hero faxes” to its Olympic athletes, so it is hardly surprising that the word ‘hero’ is being used about a 16 year old who performed such an amazing feat of endurance and strength of character. In this context it seems entirely apt.

No she didn’t save lives, and there are many teens and adults quietly doing amazing things every day that are just as worthy of media attention. But I think that nitpicking what she did detracts from the fact that she is inspirational to any young person who has a dream and dares to follow it.

In full disclosure, I was a nay-sayer as Jessica left. I thought it was foolish for a young girl to be risking her life to chase a record. I thought her parents were mad to let her go. But as she has faced the challenges along her journey, I have been turned around to cheering her on. I don’t care if she broke a world record or not, or if she gets money from appearances afterwards.  At 16, I didn’t know my arse from my elbow. I was working a crappy McJob, goofing off in class, swooning over boys who barely acknowledged my existence and wasting a fair bit of my potential. If I knew then what I know now, I would have been running at life with both arms outstretched. Good on Jessica for having the guts to do that.

Updated to add: here is  a list I found of heroic characters. http://changingminds.org/disciplines/storytelling/characters/heroic_characters.htm I think we can all agree that Jessica fits the “bold adventurer” category.

A big high five to Jodie at Mummy Mayhem – this is snowballing. Fab idea too. Everyday women with normal lighting looking beautiful. No makeup, no airbrushing, no fancy photography lighting and no soft focus. Love it.

To be honest, going makeup free wasn’t too much of a chore for me, as I don’t tend to wear any unless I am going out somewhere. So no makeup at home, or to pick up at school or duck down to the shops. Makeup is for work out of the home, weddings, nights out and clothes shopping. (What is it about those shop mirrors?)

The bigger step for me is posting a pic of myself, because I don’t tend to. So here is me, about 10 minutes ago. Resplendent in my Oscar the Grouch pyjamas. Yeah, PJs at 9am. I am livin’ the high life.

Mia Freedman’s blog yesterday on the ad for UK department store John Lewis, had commenters remembering the ads and films that made them cry. I simply had to dig up this Just Humour Us post from 2006, if only to make fun of Susan again:

On the weekend I watched the Susan Sarandon/Winona Ryder version of Little Women with my daughter. As damning with faint praise as the word is, all I can describe it as is ‘nice’. You see, I thought I would cry more. You know, especially in the scene where - 

S: Wait a minute. You’d better not say too much in case you spoil it.
M: Everyone knows, don’t they?
S: Better safe, than sorry.

OK – especially in the scene where the whole y’know thing happens with the sist-

S: Careful, there.

Anyway I thought I would cry more, but I didn’t. So it was nice, and that’s that.

The whole thing did however get me thinking about the big tearjerker scenes in movies and television. So here they are: Our Favourite Bring Out the Tissues Moments

Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey – I read this book as a kid, and just knew that the movie was going to be the end of me. The little boy, waiting so patiently for his dog, and the other dog and cat come running home, and he’s happy to see him, but still waits for his old dog. He (and the viewers) thinks all is lost, and then – finally – the faithful old dog comes limping across the yard to him. Waaaaaaaah!

Breakfast at Tiffanys – towards the end, a distraught Holly Golightly tosses Cat out into an alley in the rain. And he’s sitting there in the rain. And he’s getting all wet. And then she goes back for him, and can’t find him. And did I mention it’s raining? And finally with Paul’s help, she finds the Cat, and they hug him and each other. Waaaaah!

Toy Story 2: When Jessie the cowgirl doll sings “When Somebody Loved Me”. The little girl grows up and stops playing with her. Then one day she takes her out again, and Jessie is all happy, thinking she has her friend back, but she’s really just taking her away to be dumped. Waaaaaah!

S: That’s your top three, and they’re about animals and a doll? What about real people?
M: I like animals. You give me some then, smartypants. Sophie’s Choice? The Shawshank Redemption? “Your girl is lovely, Hubbel?”
S: Uh – I was going to say Cool Runnings.
M: Not the movie with John Candy and the Jamaican Bobsled Team?
S: That’s the one.
M: Oh this should be good.

Cool Runnings – The Jamaican bobsled team have overcome all obstacles (not the least of which being they come from a small Caribbean Island and this is a sport involving ice) and are competing in the Winter Olympics. They have a run-down second hand bobsled. After a humiliating first run, they pull themselves together and start their second run perfectly. The crowd is cheering, they are making record time and it looks like they will make the finals. Then their bobsled starts to fall apart and they crash. The medical team rushes in and just when you think that the athletes have all been killed they crawl out from underneath the bobsled, pick it up and carry it, limping over the line to finish . The teams who were ridiculing them only minutes before lead the applause. It’s a beautiful moment… (sigh) Look I was 8 months pregnant, okay?! All those hormones.

M: Fair enough. And now on to the biggest tearjerker I’ve ever seen. Do you remember the old Kleenex tissues ads with the little boy and the duckling? I’m talking the early 1980s here.
S: Not to forget the ads for Kleenex, Hallmark, Huggies nappies. The emotional manipulations of the advertising agencies know no bounds.
M: Ah yes – never underestimate the buying power of weepy women .

Yep – Cool Runnings is Susan’s most memorable tearjerker moment. I will never let her live it down. But in the interests of full disclosure, I get a lump in my throat and well up every time the Rohirrim come riding over the hill at Helm’s Deep at the end of the second Lord of the Rings movie. I am a sook and a geek.

Come on – ‘fess up – which ridiculous ads and movie moments have made you cry?